Identify these 5 things and find success.

Last week, the focus was on the idea that properly written goals will amount to far greater success.  The fact is that goals are only a part of the problem in success barriers.  In this post I will expose 5 fundamental barriers that when you identify yours, you will have identified your path to success.

• What do you believe about success and what you are allowed?

What you are allowed is often a strange idea to clients seeking success help, but the reality is that many of us carry a status ceiling that we are held under.  It dictates the amount of effort and the amount of work we will exert in the accomplishment of a particular goal. 

Some years ago, I was talking with a client about success, goals, and where she wanted to be for income and possessions.  She said to me that “She did not see herself as a “Mercedes girl”.  I had never heard this term before, or since, but it exposed the underlying belief that there is a status ceiling and she did not feel she fit above it.  When she realized that she had established this class barrier, she realized that she had not allowed herself to excel beyond a certain level.

By examining what we truly believe about what we are allowed, we begin to unlock the door through the ceiling. 

• ·         Our belief about what others think of us will build barriers to our achievement?

What we think others believe about us has an even greater impact on our success than what we believe about our self.  If you have taken on the belief that others expect you to live a certain way, remain in a certain class/status, or will judge you for trying to achieve anything beyond a certain position, you will likely be stopped by the barriers that you believe are placed around you.  These barriers often are established within us, and are a reflection of our own inner belief, but we project them onto others.  If there is ever an instance that supports the belief, i.e. never getting picked first to be on the popular kick ball team in grade school, or never getting chosen to sing a solo in high school choir, can instill a belief about how others perceive you that will carry on for years.

• ·         What is the return (pay value or threat) for making the change?

As strange as it may sound, we often need our current issues in order to maintain a certain amount of status.

For example.  I was working with a man some time ago who had a real goal and need to lose weight.  It had come to a point that he could no longer ignore this.  His weight however, had become a sort of status.  He carried it well and so while looking heavy, you could not tell how fat he really was.  He was used to being known for his stature, and this size was a sort of status for him.  When he continually sabotaged his success in losing weight, I pressed him on the question, “what does my size give me, or what will I lose if I lose the excess weight?”  The reality that he continually allowed the threat of losing status in the eyes of others by losing his size was a hard reality for him to accept but it changed the way he saw himself, and allowed him to actually begin losing the weight. 

The harsh reality is that this is not uncommon, and many are trapped by the belief that they need their issue in order to have purpose, friends, acceptance, etc.  Often we are blind to the idea and many will ardently reject the fact that we will carry certain traits and beliefs if they give us certain return, either positive or negative.  Until we are ready to accept this and find a new pay value, we will remain unsuccessful.

• ·         What do I need?

All action and belief is based on need.  Not needs like food and shelter generally, but needs for social and emotional connection, needs for variety in life, and needs for control.  In order to fully understand why we act in a certain way or avoid specific things, we must spend an honest moment and asking the question “why?”.  “Why do I xx when xx?”.  The answer to the “why” may be the most important answer you can ever receive as to the barriers that hold you where you are.  When you know why you are where you are, why you do what you do, and why you believe what you believe, you can finally make the type of changes that are vital to real change.  In the examples above we see various examples of the “why”.  To remain large met my clients social need and need for acceptance. 

The inverse of this is also true.  To deny yourself social and economic growth due to the rejection of the past can also be based on need.  Our need for safety and control can dictate that we do not try harder than we belief safe when social rejection has implanted a notion that we are not good enough, or worthy of certain things.  Additionally, some goals have been cast off do to the fear associated with the achievement.  Some success may bring a change in lifestyle, friends, and associates.  If these changes are too far outside of a comfort zone and if there is not enough support for the change, the need for safety will derail the change.

• ·         What support do you have?

As unfortunate as it is, many of us do not have the social supports needed to make the changes we desire.  Any combination of the above social pressures can combine with the lack of support or downright rejection of the goals by those close to us.

When I chose to move away from my Professor position and go it on my own, there were those who were very supportive and then there were others who made comments such as a snarky “good Luck” and “I’m scared for you’.  Perhaps well intended, but the message was one of limited trust and support. 

When you make your goals, the most important thing you can do after all the above, is to associate yourself with individuals of a like mind and drive.  Mastermind groups, mentor meetings and our success coaching are all ways to find like minded and supportive people to surround yourself with.  The old adage, “We move toward and become like that which we think about most” is very true, and the people you surround yourself with will make the most impact over the long run.

May you find great success in all you do today.

Brett

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P.P.S. Don't miss out on the opportunity to get one on one success coaching and brainwave balancing sessions to ensure your success.  Check it out here and how you will receive free services in the process. Check out my video regarding my Brain Focus session yesterday on YouTube.