From darkness to light. Transformation through Brainwave Optimization

The following email came from a client I had the opportunity of working with in both counseling and then in brain training. They were reluctant but willing to try anything. there is a history of severe emotional trauma and relationship issues, cutting, and prescription abuse.

I will add that during the sessions, this client began making a stand against a dominating relationship and began to recognize the lack of power themselves. I was informed from the ecclesiastical leader that the day following our last brain training session, this client informed the partner that things were changing and they were taking their life back.

Also, on our 4th day of training, there was a major disruption at this persons work as well as a promotion of added duties. They still came to the brain training sessions and joked about the day. When I questioned about the change in attitude and that before this would have put them in bed and I would have a no show, they laughed and said that there was no emotional work up anymore. These things do not matter. We laughed and joked for the first time.

received by email

Brett,

I've been intending to write for sometime, but I've been forgetting and busy. I don't think I've really appreciated how much my life has changed since doing Brain Training, until today. My grandmother died 3 years ago today, and I usually have a really hard time at Thanksgiving. I didn't even think about it this year. I thought about her, I missed her, but there wasn't that sadness connected to it. Its amazing. Though my life situation hasn't changed, I certainly have, and it really is a miracle. I can sleep, and I can focus, and I can function much better than before. Things with [partner] are really rough right now, but somehow I feel I can get through it - that we will find a solution that works for us both. I felt incredibly depressed about the whole thing on Tuesday night. But then I slept and woke up the next morning with hope that things will get better. That doesn't happen - that NEVER happens. People around me tell me I look good, that I have "bright eyes and a warm smile" as Gordon (close friend) put it.

I just wanted you to know what I've experienced. I wanted you to know that my experience with you, (counseling and brain training) has completely altered my life for the better. I am so grateful to you for the effort you extended, for caring at all, and for giving me the opportunity to LIVE again. Thank you. Thank you SO much Brett. I will never be the same. I refuse to ever be the fraction of a person I was before.

I have no idea how much I owe you ($$) but I'll send a check for as much as I can. (Though it will never equal what this experience is worth to me.)

Happy Thanksgiving!

With deepest gratitude,

Brett,

I talked with [Ecclesiastical Leader] on Sunday. I'm not sure what he was expecting, but it was like both of us could breathe again. I feel at peace, and he said I looked it. I know that life will always push me around, but now I have the stability and balance to not only stand on my own two feet but to enjoy the ride.

You are welcome to share whatever I've sent you at your discretion. I want anyone in darkness to have the opportunity to pull themselves up and feel the sun on their face, and this experience gave me that chance. I will share my experience with others as I see opportunities to do so. I feel this is not the end, but the beginning. I sincerely thank you. I hope to keep in touch with you, and that I might be able to come in for a "tune up" if I need to in the future.

With gratitude,

Follow up on my Brain Optimization

So it has been nearly a month since I was in "The Chair" as we are calling it, even a future client said they could not wait to get in the chair. I thought I should update my experience.

The shakes are still there but I only see them and feel them in the hand and slight compared to before. I used to feel the tremor up the arm and often into the chest.

My need for my Dr. Pepper has been eliminated. I actually bought one yesterday thinking I would like the taste and it still sits here on my desk barely half gone. I drink a lot of lightly flavored water water now. I put about 1/3 of a packet of crystal light peach mango green tea flavor packet in 1.5 liters of water. I will do 2 -3 of those while at my desk.

My sleep has still been great. I generally fall right to sleep.

I have found that mentally I have been remembering names better than ever before and I have much faster response in my metal acquisition of data. That is helpful at work in the class.

The greatest thing for me has been that I just don't care anymore. Let me explain. I used to perseverate on everything and let this smallest of details get at me. Now I am free to accept what is mine and let go of anything else. It has really been great to not have this constant nag and droning criticism. I still struggle to want to or remember to take the light depression med that I started to take to get rid of this. Many days I have not taken it and then I do as a feel the withdrawal from the pill, not the mental crazy it was trying to help.

I am excited that we now have to chairs and I can get back in one soon. Come see for yourself.

Why brain balancing with Brain State Technologies

Beginning August 30th, The Garden Counseling Center, in conjunction with Cere-Balance, will offer real time brain balancing powered by Brain State Technologies. You may be responding to this news with curiosity, confusion, or skepticism, as many others have. Some enthusiastically ask "What is brain balancing?" while many others simply look at us with a twisted eyebrow of confusion and skepticism.

Gina and I both love counseling and seeing our clients excel. There is very little like the experience when a person is able to step out of their misery. Within that is the reality that for some pain there is little that can be done. We do the best we can to give relief and tools for future and hope for the best. Knowing that trauma is a part of everyone of out lives and that it is the driving factor in what we call pathologies or disorders, we wanted more. So when Gina was introduced to Brain State (BST) it was a logical partnering.

Many have asked what is this thing. Is it Bio-feedback, neuro-feedback, too good to be true, and the answer is yes to all of these, in some degree. And to a great extent it is none of them. Simply stated, BST is the next logical step in in the Bio-feedback and Neuro-feedback generations. It takes EEG information from your brain, converts that electrical signal to sound (heard through head phones and similar to a xylophone) that your brain understands as the same frequency it just fired in the neuron. As your brain hears itself, the computer sends a tonal image of the brain and the brain gets to see itself as it currently is, with imbalances and with trauma scars in the neuro network. Then the computer sends a tonal image that represents what balance and harmony would look like. Unlike the other methods that shape your brain by pulling it to a predetermined state, BST presents an image of optimal balance and allows your brain to find its balance. Based on the idea that anything that is observed will change, the brain will begin changing once it sees its own self. Is it too good to be true? Only to the point that it is unknown what it can fully do and some folks are not fully ready to engage the process with the open mind needed to let the brain work. What BST has shown over and again is that Brain Wave Optimization has the capacity to help the brain release held traumas and memories in such a way that new neuro pathways are developed and lives are enhanced. ADD/ADHD, learning struggles, tremors, PTSD, anxiety, depression, addictions, and more have all been eliminated, while sports performance and business/educational performance have been enhanced in people who complete the experience.

While in AZ, I was determined to get on the machine personally as much as I could. I wanted to know for my self what it could do. I was able to complete 5 good sessions, 1 aggressive session, and a couple of relaxation experiences that were truly changing for me. It is recommended that you do 10 sessions together to get the brain changing and then anchor it. Here is what I experienced.

Session 1 was very relaxing. We worked to establish an overall base line and see how my brain would react to the changes presented to it. That night, I slept more sound then I can ever recall and fell asleep easily. I dreampt and had vivid color and clarity. When I woke I was refreshed and active straight out of bed. These things have not been part of my life. The focus of these sessions is to get the brain to balance left and right hemisphere so one is not dominant over the other, and to bring a sense of harmony through out the whole brain.

Session 2 was more to the balancing work. We focused on quieting the constant "chatter" and pressure that I have felt in my frontal lobe (right behind the forehead). I have often considered the idea that I had mild ADD because I am forever scattered and unfocused. This is where I felt it, the change in my brain. We started with the temporal lobes and then the occipital. These were so very relaxing. I could feel my brain quieting down and becoming settled. In the parietal lobes I felt this amazing lightening in my body. This lobe is associated with our body/mind connection and awareness of our physical self. At one point I felt as if my whole body, starting at my legs and moving up, was being lifted and as I felt this, there was an obvious disappearance of joint pain I always feel. Since then, the constant pain in my knees, thumbs and hands has dramatically diminished to the point that I rode my motorcycle from Utah home and did not have pain in my joints during or after.

While this was great, the real change happened in the frontal pole area. Right above the eye. During this session I became acutely aware of the constant pressure and racing thoughts that I had always had. About halfway through this protocol, I felt a releasing of pressure like a balloon being slowly deflated. With that feeling also went the pervasive thoughts that scattered my focus and also brought a fair amount of anxiety. It has been over a week and the pain and the thoughts are still gone. I am much more relaxed about life. That night, I again slept deep and was well rested when I awoke.

Session 3 was more of the same protocols as session 2. This time I began to experience emotions in a very new way during the session. Peter Levine discusses trauma as repressed flight response in humans. He states in his writing that unlike any other animal, human refuse to allow the natural expression of trauma through the releasing of the adrenaline. This time, I began to have varied and vivid emotions and I would spontaneously laugh, grin, tear, and my legs began to involuntarily move as if they were running. Never once did I feel afraid, but felt as if I was letting go of a lot of repressed emotion and memory. I do not know what they were but felt the peace come after words. I felt this experience in every lobe we worked on.

I finished session 4 with a protocol designed to encourage your brain to release the pains and memories it has stored. This was my desire and I hoped I would get the balance and harmony in my brain that would allow this. Finally the alpha levels were showing strong enough to help me do this. Alpha is associated with emotional well being in the brain functioning. We had worked on getting my brain to increase its alpha over theta ratios. During this procedure I felt an amazing array of emotions. From hurt and loss, sadness, to indescribable joy. After words I felt great. I felt light and as if years of heaviness were taken from me.

In session 5 I wanted to try an aggressive series of protocols to see what I would experience. I was feeling great and thought I would be able to do it. In general I was, but the releasing protocol was too much and I had a very depressed and moody night. It strange in that I had no idea what I was feeling the depression from, I just new I was feeling it. It was a long night. I woke tired. Things were stirred up and I felt it. I know now that I needed to have followed with a balancing and an alpha up protocol. The best way that I have been able to describe this day was running a marathon when the brain was only ready for a 5K. I had really stirred things but failed to finish the sessions with a cool down like you should in exercise. I was metaphorically cramping with mental shin splints.

The next couple of times in the chair I focused on getting balance back and increasing the alpha. I felt instantly different then the night before when I was done with just 2 quick balancing protocols. The depression was gone and so was the memory that I had even been having it.

The outcome.

One week later and not even getting a full course of the 10 session intensive I had intended, the last sessions would have begun locking in the new neuro pathways.

I feel lighter emotionally and mentally. There is a little thought pressure returning, but very little.

After 2 sessions with occipital work, I began to be frustrated by my glasses and often left them off. Gina also experienced increased visual acuity.

My tremor, that every one who knows me in recent years has witnessed, was down by about 1/2. More work in the parietal would have fully removed this I am sure. It was wonderful to feel steadiness comeing to my hands.

I do not have the pains I used to on a regular basis.

My daily desire for (addiction to) Dr. Pepper has all but disappeared. I love the taste but I do not crave it and feel I need to have one. When I have had one, I have a hard time finishing it and often get an instant headache.

I am very excited for Aug 30 when the equipment will all be here and I can finish my intensive, and see this same type of change come to others.

Let us know if you are interested in information. We will be holding open houses with a free "Brain Massage" being demonstrated for an attendee on the 1st Saturday of each month. See us at 819 N. 12th in Pocatello. 232-2263 www.cerebalance.com

For more information now, look at the videos and "how we help" atwww.brainstatetech.com

The ever shifting 5, by Brett M. Judd LMSW

A standard assessment technique in the counseling field is that of the scaling. Simply stated it is "0-5 where would rate x?" It is a fast and simple way to getfeed back and have your client do some self reflection.

I was using this technique one session to help a couple see how far they had come. I asked them to write down what they thought they were at the time we started and then to rate where they though they were now. I suppose you could argue that this is either risky in that they may rate a negative, or arrogant that you are assuming you have done something for them. I was fairly certain with this couple that when I asked the question I was going to receive a positive response. It was a risk I felt good about taking at that time.

I framed the question like this. "0 - 5, where would you rate your relationship when we started, if 0 meant 'why are we coming here and not to a lawyer' and 5 meant 'why are we coming here still or at all?" Each rated the first answer at a 1 teetering on 0. The second response was much different. Beaming, she reported a 4 -4.5. She was excited to report that they were doing better than she had remember. At this point I was having to hold back the self congratulatory self talk. It was not hard when I turned to him and asked his response to the question. He sheepishly showed his reply that he had marked a 3-3.5. She and I each felt deflated. I asked him to explain the low score hoping to see where things had gone poorly. He responded something like this. "As we have worked on the issues and learned new skills, I have at times felt the 5 of which you spoke. It is wonderful and from time to time I still feel it. What I have learned and the reason I rated us at the 3.5, is that the 5 is always shifting. When you reach it and linger for a while, you realize that it has become the new 4. There is always a new horizon to achieve. As long as you are progressing forward and moving toward that 5, you will always have it." She and I sat there, stunned in the wisdom he had taught us. He truly understood the essence of a 5 relationship and had gained a powerful perspective for life.

I thought of this tonight in reflection of the power that is in the reading of self help and awareness books. One that I particularly love for couples is Hold Me Tight, by Sue Johnson. Sue is the creator Emotional Focused Therapy for couples and has, in my opinion, put her finger on the whole relationship business. The problem with her book and other, is that when we read them we gain a perspective of a 5 that we may or may not have achieved. If we are not careful we will walk away from a book like these feeling as if what we felt was a 3-4 was now a 0-1. By keeping our eye trained on the ever shifting 5 of perfection, we are able to revel in our 3.5's and 4's along our journey. I have come to find joy in the 4 and teach this idea to couples and individuals as a standard launching point when ever I do a scaling or have then read a book in conjunction with our sessions.

I once learned that when you are on a wire 40 feet above the ground, you will surely fall if you look at your feet to see where you are. It is when you look with your head up at the destination, that makes it easy to let your feet do what they do every day and you walk easily to the other side. When we look at our short comings, it is like looking at your feet standing on a thin wire with nothing but space between you and the ground. By keeping you eye on the 5 you will find it much easier to do the work you need to do today.

Live for the 4, enjoy the 5.

Our Emotional Dam, by Brett M. Judd LMSW

It could be said that we all are born with an emotional river. Free flowing and clear when new, this river slowly clouds with pains and discouragement. Mixed with daily hurts, joy and love blur to mediocrity. We lose focus of the free flowing peace that once was our river.

The river of emotion that heals our broken hearts, delights our troubled days and supplies life sustaining joy is eventually dammed off. High walls are built and stone by stone, brick by brick, the flow of the emotion is dammed off to "keep us safe". We begin to develop beliefs that tell us that feeling only hurts us and we must control the flow. Not every brick or stone is laid by us. Some are laid by those who harm us. Others are laid by well intending onlookers who try to stifle our emotions when they are uneasy observing our river. Statements like, "get over it", "there is nothing to cry about", "real men don't cry" add to the depth and thickness of the feeling self. When we are not safe with our emotional self, we close the gate that would allow the river to flow and cleanse itself. Over time, we have such a high and wide wall damming the flow that we no longer feel anything. We believe that this is safe.

Behind the dam is a reservoir. Deep, dark and full of every emotion we have trapped hoping to not feel, we are now faced with feeling them at the same time, muddied together so that nothing is distinct. Joy and happiness blend with distress and pain. A runoff of clean fresh love, flows into the pool of despair and is never realized. In order to feel, we seek highly stimulating activity that overwhelms in order to feel anything. We stimulate the senses with activity, pornography, entertainment, extreme behaviors, all in an effort to feel anything. Often, we feel so much that we avoid it, numb it, build another layer to the dam to overcome it.

When I have my clients draw their dam, I have noticed a commonality with all of the images. There is no flow gate, or spill way. The dam is built so tight in order to control that there is no way to manage the flow of emotion. To control something requires constant attention, and dominance. To manage implies a sense of cooperation. Controls are in place and allowed to do what they need to with out the constant vigilance. When emotions are managed, we allow a certain portion to flow and with it we cleanse the overall reservoir. In anticipation of an outpouring or runoff from up stream, we empty and prepare. Some emotions we seek to hold so that we have what we need when we are lacking that inflow. Manage is a proactive verb, whereas control is reactive and often based in fear.

What is in your reservoir? Has the water muddied to the point it is unsavory? What happened when you receive a heavy flow of emotion? Does it spill over, encouraging you to add another layer? Do you have flood gates and understand how to manage the flow with the tool you currently have. Questions like these are the building blocks to emotional freedom. When we place flood gates and spillways into the dam, we are learning how to manage our emotional self. We hold what we need, and release what is unwanted. Perhaps we need to tare down the dam altogether because it was built upon us by those who have hurt and abused our emotional needs. When we learn what our dam is built of we are able to decide what needs to be done with it.

Just as the spring rains bring bring the fresh waters into our reservoirs, I hope that we all can release what is unneeded in our emotional reservoir and contain all that is good coming down the river.

Pruning our Orchard

There was an old orchard that was prized by its owner. The time for pruning had come and the worker set out with the owner to care for the trees.

The owner went first to his prized tree. It had always brought good fruit. He was worried as he approached the tree and he could see that time was waring on the branches. With the servant he inspected the tree and found many places where limbs were broken and overgrown. Disease was setting into portions of the tree. The owner was deeply saddened and concerned for the tree and the fruit that it had always provided.

Seeing that work must be done to the old tree, the owner and the servant went about the careful and exact process of pruning. Broken limbs were carefully cut away, smaller shoots trimmed off. In areas of the tree where disease had settled in, care was taken to apply the correct medicine. In some places, stronger branches from other trees were grafted in to strengthen the old tree. Lovingly and carefully, the owner and the servant worked to bring the mighty tree into a healthy and useful state.

When the work was done and the summer came, the servant tended to the tree. Grafts were checked and strengthened. New unwanted shoots were trimmed away before they could weaken the whole. Water was given and food provided to the roots. The blossoms that season were few, but the tree was strong and its core had been saved by the trimming and grafting.

We like the tree, are constantly growing. New shoots of belief spring up each season. Old limbs of behavior become weak from over use. Disease sets in and cancers our core. As the "owner" of this tree, we are the ones who employ the servant to assist us in the "pruning" of our life. Old beliefs are strengthened. Some are pruned away as having no value for us today. Other beliefs are brought in and "grafted" to the core of the tree. These new beliefs will take time to bare fruit, but after a season of nurturing will bring the desired fruit. It is in this season of pruning that we define who we will become in the coming time of harvest. It is vital for our health and strength that we prune wisely. Aggressive cutting away leaves the root weakened. We falter without the nourishment of the branches and the leaves. Being unwilling to prune away areas that have not yielded fruit or carry diseased thoughts and attitudes, will also weaken the whole.

Spring is a time of regrowth and wakening in the world around us. It is a great time to prune our own orchard.

Why love is better than logic.

There is a parenting practice that is frequently taught in our area called Loved and Logichttp://www.loveandlogic.com/. Let me first say that I am in no way trying to bash this theory, only setting out some cautions. When I taught foster parent training, I often encountered parents who were deeply versed in the precepts of the practice. What I also noticed is that many of these parents were steeped in the logic but missed the love.
Why love is so vital. John Bolby, father of attachment theory stressed that for children to feel safe in their exploration of the world and as adolescents, their exploration and attempts at adulthood, they must be supported and encouraged by parents who are welcoming and receptive to their returning home (Attachment, 1982, John Bowlby, page 337). When a child (or an adult for that matter) ventures out into a strange situation they need to feel the loving support of a caregiver or partner. This creates a secure base and the individual feels safe to attempt new things. Likewise, when the caregiver has also created a safe haven of return, the individual feels safe in the return to a welcoming and supportive environment. Unfortunately, not all returning is glorious and follows a triumphant victory in the exploration. Often in the fledgling’s initial exploration, they fail to fully realize their potential. In these times it is imperative that the caregiver nurture and love them, upon return. To hide behind the safety of logic, I bypass the emotion al need and negate the need for organizing of the emotional self. The returning loved one already fears that they will be met with criticism and judging, therefore they are more apt to be defensive and in deeper need for consolation.
Logic implies that the receiver is in full capacity of the logic or cognitive brain. The Logic brain, centered in the Prefrontal cortex, reasons, thinks, justifies and assesses all data. Numerous research studies have shown that under stress, this part of the brain shuts down and allows the emotional based mid brain to take over. For this reason, when we feel afraid, or disappointed, hurt and sadness, we are often times unable to reason our way logically through it. This is when the caregiver must reason for us and speak to us ijn an emotional organizing fashion. Delighting in us, supporting us and helping us to organize our feelings. (Circle of Security, 2002, Marvin et al. http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/ccp/74/6/images/ccp_74_6_1017_fig1a.jpg)
All too often, the caregiver in the time of distress is looking at the situation from a purely logical and rational mindset (logic brain). As the caregiver, we often let ourselves focus on the “should haves” and “why did yous” that lead to shame and guilt instead of preparation for a new attempt at exploration. Often we are hurt or afraid by the exploration and therefore find ourselves functioning under the limited abilities of an impaired logic brain. When this happens, Logic loses the Love and finds itself cynical and cold, unable to organize emotion or comfort.
The Circle of Security model of attachment based nurture is repeated in Sue Johnson’s work on couples In Hold Me Tight. These two models help the intervening caregiver to see the need for logic while deeply understanding the constraints of nurture and support that love brings. When we first employ the love to help our loved one organize and reappraise their emotional self and understand their emotions, we are able to assist them in reactivating the logic brain and thereby reason and understand the process in which they failed to reach their full potential. As a caring and supportive parent, spouse, friend, or even employer, I am create opportunities of understanding and growth that allow my loved one the strength of self to explore again, knowing that when they return, they were supported in their exploration and delighted in on their return. We were both logical and loving.

Troweling the Garden

I recently had a conversation with a client that underscores the need for gentle nurturing when counseling. This person had recently under gone a very trying time and it was our first visit back afterward. He stated that he was scared and did not see what good could come from digging up old issues. Using a metaphor I have written on already here, I discussed the change process of weeding the garden or flower bed.

I drew a picture of a planting bed with little brown seeds scattered throughout the soil, each at varying depths. I discussed with him how certain of these seeds were so deep that they could not sprout and therefore could be left alone. I told him that I read somewhere (actually in a book about chickens) that it is healthier to only turn over the top six inches of soil when you prep a garden bed as you do not want to disturb those deep-lying seeds. Over time, with gentle tilling of the soil using a hand trowel, these deeper seeds might work their way up and when they do, they could be addressed. We then discussed how even the seeds that are within the top six inches do not need to be addressed if they are not actively creating problems and may not even be seen.

Speaking of our emotional "garden", we all have had seeds of belief, attitude, and behavior planted in us from every action done to us or by us, and every acquaintance we meet. (I am very mindful that the seeds I plant with a client are the very seeds that will shape the way my client views the therapeutic process.) Some of these seeds are deep and some are shallow. Every action we make is underscored by a belief, planted in us some time before its time of behavioral harvest. Some have sprouted and some lie dormant waiting for the time to blossom into their full potential. Not all of these seeds are unhealthy.

In my discussion with this client, I used this metaphor to help him see that not every past planting needs to be unearthed at this time and that some may need to be left alone. I further discussed how some seeds, like those of the morning glory, lie deep but their influence and fruit spread wide on the surface. For these, it is necessary that we trace each behavioral fruit back along its stem and to the root of it. In these cases there may need to be some deeper work, but only and always with the gentle action of a hand trowel and not a tiller.

Most seeds planted in our emotional garden are healthy. Only a few scattered into the landscape of the garden that must be weeded out. As spring is upon us, I hope that we all might take a chance to "weed" our garden.